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Thom Dunn is a Boston-based writer, musician, and utterly terrible dancer. He is the singer/guitarist for the indie rock/power-pop the Roland High Life, as well as a staff writer for the New York Times’ Wirecutter and a regular contributor at BoingBoing.net. Thom enjoys Oxford commas, metaphysics, and romantic clichés (especially when they involve whiskey), and he firmly believes that Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" is the single greatest atrocity committed against mankind. He is a graduate of Clarion Writer's Workshop at UCSD ('13) & Emerson College ('08).

Lá Fhéile Pádraig!

[soundcloud url="http://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/12036874" iframe="true" /] Anyone who knows me can vouch for the fact that I love being Irish. I hold a great deal of pride in the culture, a feeling ingrained in me by my father since a very young age. We also know, of course, that I do enjoy drinking (as if the homebrewing section of my website weren't enough of an indicator). That being said, St. Paddy's Day (and that's "Paddy" for Pádraig, mind you. "Patty" is a girl's name, or what you might call a hamburger) inspires some conflicting feelings within me. I love the celebration of my heritage, and the recognition that it brings to such a unique and fascinating culture. But I find myself being constantly aggravated at the Plastic Paddies and rampant racism that accompanies the holiday. Sure, I plan on heading over to the pub on the 17th to enjoy a few pints, but that's not all there is. I plan on taking in a few Irish seisiuns, enjoying the music and the culture of Ireland, in addition to the drink. Too many people are happy to diminish the accomplishments of the Irish people and reduce us to alcoholic slobs. And while a great many of us do take to the drink — as well as there are many who actually suffer from alcoholism, which is far from humorous — there's much more about the Irish to celebrate. Unfortunately, most complaints about the depiction of Irish stereotypes in American culture are quickly brushed aside as essentially "white people problems." Despite the fact the Irish are generally an accepted — and celebrated — culture in modern day America (especially in Boston!), many seem to forget the years of struggle that our ancestors went through. Sure, it hasn't much affected me directly — no one's ever called me a "white nigger," or pointed to a sign saying "No Irish Need Apply" — but it affected my family, and thus, it's had affect on how I grew up and who I am today.

This week's post on Five By Five Hundred is brought to you by Brian Boru, Flann O'Brien, James Joyce, Fionn MacCumhaill, Brendan Behan, Samuel Beckett, Cuchulain, Maewyn Succa, and all of the other bright and brilliant faces of Irish culture that have had a positive impact worldwide.

"Nina Never Loved Me" on FiveByFiveHundred.com

(also, while you're at it, I suggest you check out The Shore, the newest Oscar-winning short film by Terry George)

Falling Behind

Oh jeez. Judging by the activity thing, you'd think that I'd done absolutely nothing worth a mention in the last month. But in fact, the opposite is quite true -- I've been too damn busy to post anything here. There's been weddings, there's been funerals, there's been travel, there's been sickness, and everything else in between (aka, ya know, actually doing stuff). So subscribers, I'm going to apologize here now first as I'm likely about to back-post some of the past month's activities for archival reasons. I swear, I will try to be more on top of this.

The Past, The Present, and The Imperfect Future Walk Into a Bar...

Things have been less than ideal as of late, as my girlfriend's best friend quite abruptly passed away from an unexpected heart attack at the age of 28. As you can imagine, it's been a very rough and emotional week. I could very well fill this blog with my thoughts and feelings on the occasion, but anything factual I would attempt to type would feel disingenuous, so here are a few posts catching up on Five By Five Hundred that were inspired by the situation.

Rest in peace, Crystal Gomes. I guess a light as bright as yours is bound to burn out much too fast.

"Being Tense" on FiveByFiveHundred.com

"The Old Maid on the Bar Stool" (part one) (part two) on FiveByFiveHundred.com

Chicago Blues, circa 1927

Over at the Huntington, we're getting ready to open our production of Ma Rainey's Black bottom, the first Broadway hit by August Wilson. It's also the last show in Wilson's Century Cycle to be produced by us; starting with Joe Turner's Come and Gone, Wilson had a home at the Huntington in developing his plays before they hit Broadway, so it's a particularly special occasion. Here's a short teaser trailer I cut together for the show:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-U6Ls5kF0c&w=480&h=274]

No Time For Love, Doctor Jones

And so begins the madness. First, I'll be performing tonight at Mortified Boston, thanks to the fantastic Ms Lisa McColgan (a co-worker over at the Huntington, as well as a fellow writer on Five By Five Hundred and possibly the world's biggest zombie enthusiast). I'll be singing a hilariously embarrassing song that I originally wrote in high school, so if you want to see me get up and stage and humiliate myself, well, that's the place to be. On a less romantic note, this week's Five By Five Hundred entry recalls an encounter with one of my favorite homeless people on the entire planet (yes, I have more than one favorite homeless person). Singing the praises of a confessed former-gang-banger might not seem like the most topical choice for a Valentines Day post, but, well, in light of recent events *cough*Chris Brown*cough*, it makes some form of sense in my warped mind.

"Joe" on FiveByFiveHundred.com

Who Watches Alan Moore?

Alan Moore has a reputation. Besides being crazy, he's also famously curmudgeonly. If there's a problem with my grammar and use of adverb in the preceding sentence, then, well, Alan Moore can cast some crazy black magic spell on me. I don't really care. There's been a lot of news and opinions spewed forth around the internet regarding the recently announced Before Watchmen from DC Comics, a collection of prequel miniseries based on Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' universally acclaimed Watchmen. When it all comes down, Moore may have been screwed (multiple times) in the past, but DC currently has every legal right to make this happen, and, well, comics have a history of picking up from someone else's characters and making a run for it.

But that's neither here nor there. This post is just to tell you to check out my latest post on Five By Five Hundred, which was inspired by a comment made by Alan Moore in the video embedded below (which, fair warning, is a two-and-a-half hour long interview in which he is not surprisingly verbose and curmudgeonly and also crazy black magic wizard plus beard).

"Adventure Capitalism" on FiveByFiveHundred.com

[vimeo http://www.vimeo.com/36211102 w=450&h=264]

SuperBeer to the Rescue!

Head on over to the fine folks at Quirk Books and check out my world-famous (read: on the internet) Comic Book & Beer Pairings article on their blog! It's comic books, and beer, together. What more could you possibly want? Also, shout out to Quirk's Marketing & Social Media Coordinator Eric Smith for the fantastic pictures that he scrounged together to accompany each entry. They help make the article extra awesome-worthy.

High Infidelity

In doing research for an article I'm working on for Quirk Books, I pulled out my personal copy of High Fidelity (the novel) by Nick Horny. And what do I find inside?

Handwritten song lyrics. Except, it's not my handwriting. And I'm pretty sure I've never lent this book out to anyone to borrow. Eerie, right? And yet, kind of poetic.

So obviously, I laid claim to it (despite the fact that it's, erm, not very good), and turned into a found poem for Five By Five Hundred (which also worked out well because it's been a busy few days, between taking my poor chinchilla to the hospital with a broken arm, and sitting on the "Tweet This?" panel for Arts In America).

"Sonic Death Monkey" at FiveByFiveHundred.com

In the News!

It's a good week for being me! I opened up a print copy (on newsprint! Gets on your hands!) of Boston's Weekly Dig, only to find that they reprinted my tweet to them about my Haiku Beer Reviews from last week's Beer Summit (for which I had tickets from the Dig), and they even printed one of the haikus (for ZOMBIE KILLER Meade from B.Nektar) in their pages. This marks the second time that the Dig has printed one of my silly poems (the last time being in October, 2010 in their "Oh, Cruel World!" column, wherein I expressed my violent rage about a bicycle accident in verse) which all just makes me think that they should give me a job as "Official Writer of Silly Verse" or something. Vagabond Theatre Group, who is the producing the upcoming reading of my play True Believers, posted a lovely and thoughtful blogpost about my play, and the trend (or lack thereof) of comic book-related stories in theatre. It's a brief but flattering piece, that you should check out if you have the chance!

Coming up: even more news that I can't quite officially announce yet. Hollerr.

Sh!t Daleks Say

I know, I know, this meme is awful, it never ends, and I can't stand it. Sure, there are a few gems in there, but ugh, make it stop. ...so really by doing this, I know that I'm just perpetuating the issue, but I see it more as my chance to EX-TER-MI-NATE the meme, if you will. Plus, c'mon — admit it — this is funny. And I'm awesome.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxLQl5ns-Do&w=485&h=276]

Haiku Beer Review: The Third!

Continuing in my established tradition from the Mass Brewer's Fest and last year's Winter Beer Jubilee, I present for you the latest installment of Haiku Beer Review, compiled at the 2012 Winter Beer Summit. I make tasting notes into my phone as the night goes on, so that I can turn them into haikus when I get home (and eventually sober up). I know, I know, I'm a genius, it's true. Anyway, enjoy! (Also, thanks to Dig Boston for the free tickets and for putting up with my whining. #thomdunnwantsbeer)

"Haiku Beer Review #3: Winter Beer Summit 2012" on FiveByFiveHundred.com

It's All In The Ears

So apparently there are some people out there who are absolutely disgusted by the sight of attached earlobes. (I assume that these are the same people that experience actual physical revulsion at the sound of the word "moist") (you know who you are) Still, it got me thinking a bit about bigotry, and the features that people are born with that lead to discrimination. Thus, instead of stooping to making fun of Jeph Loeb again, I decided to write a short fiction piece about a world in which those with attached earlobes suffer from the same kind of humiliation, discrimination, and hate as some of the more persecuted minority groups today. I guess what I'm trying to say is, attached earlobes is the new Black. I mean, not that — I don't mean like — I'm not a racist, but — oh, forget it.

"Lobe Lobe Lobe" on FiveByFiveHundred.com

Excelsior! Stay Tuned, True Believers!

I'm excited to announce that the lovely people at Vagabond Theatre Group like me so much that they've decided to present a my new full-length play True Believers as the next staged reading/public workshop in their There Will Be Words reading series. I've met with the production team once so far, but they seem incredibly enthusiastic about my work (and impressed me with their own comic book/sci-fi/nerdery knowledge, which is of course very important, especially in a piece like this), so I'm looking forward to presenting the latest draft for a smart Boston audience. The reading will take place Thursday, February 9 at Trident Booksellers & Cafe at 338 Newbury Street in Boston. Admission is free, but for a suggested $2 donation (plus Trident serves delicious food and a great selection of craft beers).

And yes, the Cyborg Head of Stan Lee will be in attendance. Hope to see you there!

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

It's been a busy week 'round this here parts, so no brand new post over at Five By Five Hundred. Instead, and in honor of James Joyce's body of work becoming public domain, I've shared an oldie-but-goodie that I wrote about 5 years ago, inspired by the first and last lines of Joyce's magnum opus, Finnegans Wake (no, I haven't read the whole think, but I've read some of it). It's a little avant-garde, but it's one I'm pretty proud of from back in the day.

"(riverrun)" at FiveByFiveHundred.com

God! Of! Carnage!

Here's a new teaser trailer I put together for our upcoming production of GOD OF CARNAGE at the Huntington. The show won the Tony and Olivier Awards in New York last year for Best Comedy, and it's definitely something worth something. It's a quick, 70 minute romp of chaos about two couples in Brooklyn who come together after their children get in a fight on a playground. Hilarity ensues. (There's also a film version, directed by Roman Polanski, simply called "Carnage" that's playing at some small arthouse cinemas around the country right now) The show is directed by Danny Goldstein, who most recently directed the Godspell revival that's currently playing on Broadway, so that's cool, too. Previews start this Friday (when we also have our totally awesome 35 Below after party with booze and a live band and all sorts of fun stuff) and runs through February 5. Anyway, here's the video. Woof Woof.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fxcei2FDV0Y&w=500&h=284]

Gluten Free Homebrew! It DOES Exist!

I started homebrewing hard cider when I found out that my good friend and drinking buddy Charles had an allergy to hops (which I still assert is the most ridiculous allergy on the planet, even moreso than peanuts. Hops literally are not used for anything except for beer and the occasional tea! But I digress). Of course it was just a matter of time before another drinking partner of mine came forth with a different problem: celiac disease. Meaning no gluten. Meaning no beer.

Okay, yes, sure, gluten-free beers do exist, but unfortunately, they're not very good. And so, my good friend Jeff Marcus enlisted in my aid to help him create a homebrewed gluten-free beer that was exactly good! Something hopefully more hoppy and full-bodied (gluten-free beers are notoriously sweet and light-bodied), possibly even eventually something darker like a porter or stout (but that's not for a while).

It's currently way too early to deduce if our wild experiment was actually successful, but I'll keep you updated as the fermentation process moves along. In any case, here's the recipe for our Gluten-free HoneyHop Pale Ale (which is the name I just came up with right now and isn't very good).